[Haskell-cafe] Is Haskell a Fanatic?

Ketil Malde ketil at malde.org
Fri Dec 4 07:31:06 EST 2009

Simon Peyton-Jones <simonpj at microsoft.com> writes:

> Respect, guys, please.

Yes.  Much as I enjoy the mangling of Shakespeare (finally some use out
of that Eng.Lit. class all those years ago), I worry that this will
finally be the thread that launched a thousand replies and burned the
bottomless archives of the Haskell Café.  Thus I humbly submit the
following proposal for the FAQ:

Q: Somebody made an obviously counterfactual statement implying Haskell is
   inferior to some lesser language (one that only a moron would use
   anyway). Although I know we try to keep things civil around here,
   this person is obviously doing this on purpose to provoke us, and as
   a responsible citizen of this forum, I shall be forced to go against
   the normal comme-il-faut (and my better judgement) and publicly
   humiliate him or her, just like he or she wants me to.  How should I
   best go about it?

A: Words are like sunrays, and each word or ray
   burns hotter when focused and terse
   And if you have nothing at all nice nice to say
   make sure that you say it in verse

   If somebody argues in endless recursion
   you'll find that it irks you at times
   So either give helpful advice for conversion
   or produce your harassment in rhymes

   Trees are more lovely than poems, it's true
   and words can burn hotter than wood
   Do you really have nothing else better to do?
   Then at least try to make it /sound/ good.

(Who has lots of better things to do, unfortunately)
If I haven't seen further, it is by standing in the footprints of giants

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