[Haskell-cafe] Elevator pitch for Haskell.

Michael Vanier mvanier at cs.caltech.edu
Tue Sep 4 20:04:25 EDT 2007


I'm reminded of the IRC post that said that "Haskell is bad, it makes you hate other languages."


Dan Weston wrote:
> And here's my guide for public health officials...
> WARNING: Learning Haskell is dangerous to your health!
> Disguised as a fully-functional programming language, Haskell is 
> actually a front for a working math-lab, supported by a cult of 
> volunteers seeking to ensnare weak-headed but normal programmers 
> susceptible to the dogma that laziness is a virtue.
> Though cut with syntactic sugar to be more palatable to newbies, each 
> Haskell construct is in fact a contagious mix of higher-order functions, 
> lambda expressions, and partial applications, a highly addictive gateway 
> drug to category theory, initial algebras, and greco-morphisms.
> Some users have gotten trapped inside an IO monad unable to get out 
> safely, and even gone mad trying to decipher commutative diagrams or 
> perfect their own monad tutorial. Signs of addiction include prefixing 
> co- to random words or needlessly replacing recursive functions with 
> combinators and pointfree notation. The least fixed point of this 
> unnatural transformation is the inability to find joy in the use of 
> imperative programming languages. In some cases, hackage is irreversible 
> and can lead to uncontrolled blogging.
> Further study is needed to understand the strong correlation between 
> intelligence and Haskell addiction. Meanwhile, those at risk should be 
> made to program in teams to suppress their creative drive.
> Dan Weston
> Paul Johnson wrote:
>> This page (http://www.npdbd.umn.edu/deliver/elevator.html) has a 
>> template for an "elevator pitch".  This is what you say to someone 
>> when you have 30 seconds to explain your big idea, for instance if you 
>> find yourself in an elevator with them.  I thought I'd try 
>> instantiating it for Haskell.
>> For software developers who need to produce highly reliable software 
>> at minimum cost, Haskell is a pure functional programming language 
>> that reduces line count by 75% through reusable higher order functions 
>> and detects latent defects with its powerful static type system.  
>> Unlike Ada and Java, Haskell allows reusable functions to be combined 
>> without the overhead of class definitions and inheritance, and its 
>> type system prevents the hidden side effects that cause many bugs in 
>> programs written in conventional languages.
>> Comments?
>> Paul.
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