URGENT

[Haskell Curry]

URGENT ASSISTANCE

WE ARE MEMBERS OF A SPECIAL COMMITTEE FOR THE DESIGN
AND DEVELOPMENT OF
ADVANCED PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES OF MEIJCROSOFT
COORPORATION IN THE UNITED
STATES. THIS COMMITTEE HAS RECENTLY COMPLETED THE
IMPLEMENTATION OF A
NEW FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE THAT UNIFIES
RELATIONAL,
OBJECT-ORIENTED AND SEMISTRUCTURED DATA. THE EXISTANCE
OF SUCH A
LANGUAGE HAS BEEN KEPT SUCH A STRICT SECRET BY
MEIJCROSOFT THAT EVEN
GOOGLE DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT IT.

WITH OUR POSITIONS, WE HAVE SUCCESSFULLY SECURED FOR
OURSELVES THE SUM
OF THIRTHY ONE MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED
STATES DOLLARS
(US$31.5M). THIS AMOUNT WAS CAREFULLY MANIPULATED BY
OVER-INVOICING
LICENSE AGREEMENTS WITH IBM, ORACLE, BEA AND SUN.

SINCE THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE NEW SECRET PROGRAMMING
LANGUAGE ARE BASED
ON WORK THAT HAS BEEN DONE BY THE FUNCTIONAL
PROGRAMMING COMMUNITY IN
THE PAST, WE ARE INVITING YOU TO HELP US IN
TRANSFERING THIS FUND
(US$31.5M) INTO A SAFE ACCOUNT. IT HAS BEEN AGREED
THAT THE OWNER OF THE
ACCOUNT WILL BE COMPENSATED WITH 30% OF THE REMITTED
FUNDS, WHILE WE
KEEP 60% AS THE INITIATORS AND 10% WILL BE SET ASIDE
TO OFFSET EXPENSES
AND PAY THE NECESSARY TAXES. WE INTEND TO USE PART OF
OUR OWN SHARE TO
HIRE MORE FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMERS FROM DEPARTMENT. THIS
IS BECAUSE THE
PRESENT DIRECTORS OF OUR COMPANY ARE EMPHASISING THE
CONSTRUCTION OF
THRUSTWORTHY CODE FOR ALL ITS PRODUCTS BEFORE THE NEXT
RELEASE. HENCE,
PURE AND LAZY FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMERS ARE IN HIGH
DEMAND OVER HERE. WE
SHALL ALSO NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE IN THIS REGARD ON A
COMMISSION TO BE
AGREED UPON WHEN WE FINALLY MEET.

ALL MODALITIES OF THIS TRANSACTION HAVE BEEN CAREFULLY
WORKED OUT AND
PROVED CORRECT USING IDEALIZED METAML AND ONCE STARTED
WILL NOT TAKE
MORE THAN SEVEN (7) WORKING DAYS, WITH YOUR FULL
SUPPORT. THIS
TRANSACTION IS 100% RISK FREE.

MOREOVER, WE SHALL NEED THE FOLLOWING FROM YOU TO
ENABLE US BEGIN THE
TRANSACTION FORMALLY. THEY ARE; YOUR FULL NAME AND
ADDRESS OR YOUR
COMPANY NAME, ADDRESS AND HOMEPAGE, YOUR COMPUTERS
NAME AND IPADDRESS,
YOUR ACCOUNT PASSWORD AND NAME. THIS INFORMATION WILL
BE USED ALONGSIDE
OTHER VITAL DOCUMENTS OVER HERE IN PREPARING THE
NECESSARY APPLICATION
FOR PAYMENT TO THE CONCERNED QUARTERS WHERE PAYMENT
APPROVALS WOULD BE
SECURED IN FAVOUR OF YOUR COMPANY FOR THE PAYMENT OF
OUR FUND(US$31.5M)
INTO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT FOR US ALL. 

BY OUR APPLICATION, IT WILL BE ASSUMED THAT THIS SUM
IS BEING REQUESTED
AS  PAYMENT, WHICH IS LONG-OUTSTANDING, FOR A RESEARCH
CONTRACT, WE
SHALL CLAIM WITH OUR POSITION, YOU OR YOUR COMPANY
EXECUTED FOR
MEIJCROSOFT COORPERATION SOMETIME IN 1998. HENCE, WE
SHALL FOLLOW ALL
THE LEGAL OFFICIAL PROTOCOLS USUALLY OBSERVED BY
FOREIGN CONTRACTORS
WHENEVER THEY ARE DEMANDING PAYMENT FOR RESEARCH
CONTRACTS EXECUTED FOR
THE MY COMPANY.

FURTHERMORE, IMMEDIATELY THE FINAL APPROVAL IS
GRANTED, 
THE FUND WILL BE TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT WITHIN
72
HOURS, BY WHICH TIME MY PARTNERS AND I WILL HAVE
HACKED INTO YOUR
MACHINES FOR THE FINAL DISBURSEMENT IN THE RATIO
ALREADY SPELT OUT TO
YOU.

PLEASE, YOU SHOULD ENDEAVOUR TO GIVE US A MACHINE ON
WHICH YOU HAVE
ADMINISTRATOR PRIVILIGES. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT
BECAUSE WE WOULD NOT
WANT A SITUATION WHEN WE HAVE ENTERED THE ACCOUNT, YOU
NOW TELL US YOU
WOULD NEED TO BE AUTHORISED BY ANOTHER PERSON BEFORE
WE CAN HAVE OUR OWN
SHARE.

YOU WILL NOT BE REQUIRED TO TRAVEL OUT OF YOUR OFFICE,
ME AND MY
PARTNERS, WE ELECTRONICALLY HANDLE THE DISBURSEMENT OF
THE FUND, AFTER
THE FINAL TRANSACTION.  WE WILL ALSO DISCUSS ABOUT THE
USE OF FUNCTIONAL
PROGRAMMING TO CONVERT CODE IN EXISTING LANGUAGES TO
THE NEW FUNCTIONAL
LANGUAGE BY MY COMPANY VIA INSTANT MESSAGING. BECAUSE
WE WOULD LIKE TO
ESTABLISH A JOINT BUSINESS WITH YOU. THAT IS WE WILL
USE YOUR NAME TO
REGISTER AND INCORPORATE A SOFTWARE TRANSLATION
COMPANY IN COSTA RICA. 

BESIDES, ON THE COMPLETION OF THIS TRANSFER, ALL TEX
FILES USED FOR THE
PURPOSE WILL BE WITHDRAWN FROM THE QUARTERS THEY ARE
SUBMITTED  BY OUR
CONTACTS IN THESE OFFICES AND DESTROYED, THEREAFTER.
SO, THERE WILL NOT
BE ANY PROBLEM ARISING FROM THIS TRANSACTION NOW OR IN
THE FUTURE. IF
THIS PROPOSAL SATISFIES YOU, PLEASE REACH US ONLY BY
EMAIL FOR MORE
INFORMATION. 

PLEASE, TREAT AS URGENT AND VERY IMPORTANT.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

DR. HASKELL B. CURRY

__________________________________________________
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